Three goals. I had three goals for visiting Asbury today.
Goal number one:
to cure the boredom.
This seems ridiculous, I know, but when I get bored, I just have to do something. And not something like get on Pinterest and find a craft to do. I need to do something right then, right away, with immediate results. Something like driving 3.5 hours to visit a college that I already know like the back of my hand.
But it wasn’t just to cure the boredom. Remember? I said there were 3 goals.
So that brings us to
Goal number two
which is probably the hardest to admit: to run into a certain person.
I saw on Facebook that he was visiting campus. And I’m desperate to see him. Not in that creepy stalker way (although after this post, he may see it that way), but in that way of… Well… That other way. The way that’s not creepy. I just. wanted. to see him. You know when you miss a person so much that you ache? I have that. And it was worth it to me to drive a few hours if that meant there was maybe a chance that I would possibly see him. It was worth it. Even though I didn’t see him, there was the chance, the possibility… and that was worth it.
Anyways… That was an unreasonable goal. Let’s move on.
Goal number three:
to show my dad the campus I love so much.
Initially this goal would be worded a little differently. It would be something more like to make my dad fall in love with Asbury, or to convince my dad that this is the college for me, or even for my dad to just acknowledge that I’m going to Asbury. Period. I just am.
But let’s be honest. If I set any of those as goals, it would be too easy to leave heartbroken and feeling like I failed. I can’t control how my dad feels. Nothing I say can make him love Asbury. That’s not my responsibility. I just. can’t. do that.
But God can. God can soften my dad’s heart toward Asbury. God can show my dad that Asbury is my calling. I can’t, but God can.
The real goal for this trip wasn’t any of the goals I set. It was the goal He set for me. And I wish I could tell you exactly what that goal is, but I just can’t. God didn’t tell me yet. But what I do know is that His goal is so much bigger, so much better, so much more than any goal I could ever set.
Sure, I cured my boredom. No, I didn’t see that certain someone. And I don’t know how my dad feels about my college choice. But those are just my goals.
His goals? They’re way better.